My Inspiration

In writing my blogs, I wanted to give other mothers/families the opportunity to have an inside look as to how I have gotten to where I am today. As well as to be able to follow with me along my "journey to motherhood." 

I have used my first two blogs to kinda catch everyone up to speed to where I am today and show you where I was coming from. In reading my blogs I would more than bet when the readers got to the sentence "I'M PREGNANT" some reactions were "wow this woman is insane!" 

With this blog I want to show you where I have found my inspiration to continue on with my dreams.  My number one goal is to use my experience to inspire others, but I also want to shed light on the amazing experiences I have had that have inspired me. 

I will be the first to say I am young and would never claim to be a "brave" person.  At the age of almost 26, when I'm afraid, I still want my daddy!  Everyday that I am alive I put great effort into learning from others.

I never fully understood the saying "kids don't come with manuals" until I had a child of my own!  I am so grateful for my friends and family for continuously teaching me the "how to's!"  Everyday we live and we learn, and we become a greater version of ourselves because of that. 

So, here we go this is how the journey began!

It was almost as though we had all had this horrible nightmare! But just like any other nightmare we all woke up. And, just like that, it was over and we were "normal" first-time parents. 

We have been so incredibly blessed! Kendall had to have minimum testing done following her discharge, and the same as for myself. We were able to live just like nothing had ever happened. But the big question, "Can we have more children?" was never far from our minds!  I never had doubt about having another child. I knew if god got me through such trauma he would get me through anything! But, I want to share with you why I have always felt so strong about my daughter having a sibling.

I am the oldest child. My baby brother is just shy of being four years younger than me.  My brother is my inspiration! As time passed by, I truly had found myself being able to wrap my mind around everything that had happened, but the one thing I couldn't even think about was Kendall not being able to experience what I had experienced with my brother. If the doctors gave us the OK, how could I let fear stand in my way? I couldn't! 

Growing up I have so many incredible memories of having a baby brother. As we have gotten older our relationship has only gotten better. He is my best friend and by far one of the most amazing people I know. He is only 22 years old and is so incredibly wise, kind, and  smart. 

The outlook that my brother has on life is what truly impresses me the most.  Even as a very young child my brother has always been incredibly talented. My brother can look at a drawing or listen to a song and find such beauty in it. I LOVE THAT. The enthusiasm he has for the things that interest him is so uplifting.  It is very hard to be around my brother and not have a good time. Good times and bad -- I have always gone to him. 

The best lesson that my brother has ever taught me was this: Things are not always going to go as planned and no matter how down you get eventually you gotta get back up and re-route yourself, and be able to embrace that with open arms. (My original plan was to have a natural child birth with Kendall and to have at minimum 4 children. We feel so incredibly blessed to be able to have our second, that there is no longer a number in sight.) Don't get me wrong I have my days where I go "OH MY GOODNESS" I can't believe I am having a baby, and I get nervous and my mind wanders down the road of "what if's," but I calm myself with what my brother has taught me. 

This journey I am on may not be the one I had planned for, but when I reach the end of the road I will have made it to where I have always wanted to be.  That place is one day sitting around a table with my kids, who will have each other just like my brother and I do.  My strength to continue on with my dream of being a mother has come in many forms. But, I long for the day when I can look at my husband and know that we gave our daughter the most precious gift there is. The gift of a baby sister.

Thank you baby brother!  You inspire and amaze me everyday more than you will ever know.   My husband and I are honored to have him as baby Harper's godfather.