Finish Strong

Growing up my dad always taught me to never, ever give up. Regardless of if you are good at it or not, finish strong and take it as a learning experience. 

For most of my life I always used this life lesson for sports, work, school type related things.  And then I became a mom. 

Reflecting back on those first few weeks of being a new mommy, I think that my dad's advice had really helped me get through some hard times. And even today being almost 27 weeks pregnant and in tow with a toddler my fathers words seem to always be in the back of my mind. ... "Finish strong!"

Years ago I heard a mom discussing parenting. She said something to me that made very good sense. She said, "You do your best parenting before you become a parent."

A year and a half into my "Journey of Motherhood" I can't agree more with her words. While pregnant with Kendall I had all these crazy ideas of the things and ways of how I was going to parent. Unintentionally I think we put tons of pressure on ourselves to be the "perfect om." In most ways I think that this is great because we push ourselves to be a great parent to our children, but do we ever truly realize what we are doing to ourselves?

My first "mommy meltdown" happened like this. Kendall had her first doctor's appointment with her pediatrician. The entire week prior I was beyond excited to take her to it. (Kinda crazy right ... but to me this was the first time my daughter and I were doing the "normal" stuff that all the others moms were doing)

Since Kendall and I had started off on a bit on a unusual note, this appointment really meant the world to me. It was the first time I got to drive my child somewhere by myself, the first time I got to use my new diaper bag, the first time I got to carry her in the car seat.

Well the morning of the appointment I woke up super early to get myself prepared. The night before I had already picked out what Kendall was going to wear and I had everything ready to go!  But about an hour before leaving my husband called and with a very worried tone and said, "Kel, why don't you call your doctor before you leave and make sure that it's OK for you to carry the car seat with Kendall in it." (I was still recovering from my emergency c-section at this time.) 

So to ease my husband's worry I called and, oh boy, I bet you can guess what happened ... My doctor said "NO!" He advised that I would need to take someone with me. Before I could even say goodbye I was sobbing. My heart truly hurt, but I did what my dad had taught me and I did something that I knew I didn't want to do, but something I had to do ... I called and I asked for help.

I made the best out of the situation and "finished strong." Looking back now almost two years later I realize that the situation was not nearly as big of a deal as I had thought it was, but I wanted to revisit it in my blog this week, because I think that so many times that as moms we have that feeling of "why can't this just go the way I'm trying so hard to make it go!!"

I also think that because we all love our children so much that we almost turn our own emotions off in a sense because we know that we have to stay calm for our kids. But, what I am beginning to really understand is it's OK to feel upset, or let down, or angry.

Since having my daughter I have really noticed that some people, even other mothers find it to be like an open invitation to interject their suggestions or opinions on your parenting or your feelings towards parenting. As for myself I go back to what I had heard years ago "you do your best parenting before you become a parent."

Some moms are so incredibly relaxed it seems as though nothing phases them. Well, I will be the first to say I'M NOT THAT MOM! A great mom friend of mine used the phrase a "helicopter mom" and that totally is me! But here's my thing I am OK with that, just like how I'm sure some moms would think "wow you cried over a doctors appointment." I'm OK with that too.

I am slowly, but surely, starting to understand there are always going to be people who don't understand where you are coming from. Kinda strange for me because prior to being a mom I was never really one to be concerned about what others thought of me, but once I became a mom I became sensitive of being that "perfect mom" that I think we all work so hard to be! 

But now pregnant with my second daughter and almost 2 years into the "Journey of Motherhood" I think I am really starting to get the right idea. It's not about being the "perfect" mom it's about being the "perfect" mom to what is perfect for your family. You have to wear the shoe that fits you!

Sure sometimes I think I would love to be that relaxed mom who doesn't seem to worry ever, but like I said that just isn't who I am. That isn't the "size" that fits me! Now I will say I often remind myself that Kendall will react to my behavior, so I try to keep myself in check because, although I would if I could, I can't protect her from everything.  Slowly but surely I think I am getting the hang of this whole "mommy" stuff, but I will say my best advice to others and that I use for myself is just what my dad said, "FINISH STRONG."

Whether it be a your child is having a temper tantrum in the grocery store and the woman behide you oh so lovingly lends the rude comment or glare, or it be your baby just got her first skinned knee (this happened to me this week!) Finish strong MOMS!  We are all just trying our best. 

Be good to one another, really try to ask yourself as a mother, "Would I be hurt if another mother said or acted this way towards me?"  We do not all have to parent the same for it to be great!  All of our children, I am confident, will become beautiful young adults regardless of what type of mom we are.  And the reason being is simple...because we love them! 

Love is the foundation for greatness!  Be ok with the mommy that you are!  Wear the shoe that fits you proudly!  And always finish strong! 

In honor of my dad Bruce Vick!  I love you daddy!