Community Corner

Royal Oak Woman Rediscovers Life, Mothering after Death of Children

The life Christie Siegel had been accustomed to took a devastating turn in a split second, but somehow she found the will to move forward. Sponsored by Post Grape-Nuts.

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This story was reported and written by Kristen Skladd.

Being a mother was Royal Oak resident Christie Siegel's greatest joy in life. Caring for her two children, Jordan and Ashley, was, undoubtedly, the biggest part of who Siegel was. But then, the unthinkable happened and in an instant, Jordan and Ashley were gone, and Christie's life was changed forever. The siblings, 14 and 11, died in a car crash a year ago. Living through a tragedy that very few of us can even begin to imagine, Siegel has come away with a new perspective on life, never letting a day pass by without thinking of the two guardian angels watching over her.

Here, Siegel shares how she has found strength she learned to be a mother once again.

1. What's the biggest challenge you've taken on? or, What's a goal you're trying to achieve right now?

It was a Friday afternoon in June, just the start of summer vacation, when life as I knew it became something I would never imagine. On the other end of the telephone were the words I never thought I’d hear: “prepare for the worst, our babies are gone."

As the next few days and weeks to come, I found myself lost in a world so unfamiliar; I was fired from a job (mother of two) that I loved and told I’m never going to work there again. As the months passed, I became lost trying to find a new way, searching for a new beginning- a beginning of a life as a mom without my children. 

2. What inspired you to take on this challenge? or, How do you plan to achieve this goal?

Ashley was a social butterfly, involved with soccer, cheerleading, band and of course, friends. She loved sleepovers, Friday night skating, movie nights, laughing, telling jokes and all around, “hanging out."

Jordan, the protector, more on the reserved side, was a teen who loved video games and watching Sports Center. He played football, lacrosse, basketball and baseball, all without a single complaint about sore muscles or the mounds of homework after practice. 

They were fun-loving, easygoing kids who enjoyed just that: being kids. They were respectful and kind to each other, to their friends and to me. They were team players on and off the field. As a family, we ran the house together; planning meals, chipping in with the household chores. We enjoyed long weekend trips together to Cincinnati or Chicago and, of course, the average board game of Monopoly, lasting for days. 

My inspiration comes from them.  I am a mom that enjoyed shuffling between a soccer game in the morning and a baseball game in the afternoon as well as picking out school clothes and helping with homework. When I become a mother I devoted my life to my kids and when my kids died, the devotion did not end. I didn’t want the positive energy they both radiated, or the happy-go-lucky spirit that everyone loved and knew so well, to end. 

3. Did you succeed? or What will you do when you succeed?

Through the outreach of my friends, family and the community, donations were made to the Royal Oak Youth Soccer Association (ROYSA) and the Royal Oak Youth Assistance (ROYA). I started to realize how much people wanted to help and give. At that time, the Jordan and Ashley Siegel Scholarship Fund was set in place. We kicked off the first fundraising event in September 2012 with the First Annual Pub Crawl. Friends, family and even strangers participated in a ticket raffle and a day of coming together to raise funds for an important group that symbolizes the caring and special impact and friendships Jordan and Ashley made with the people in their lives. My effort toward raising funds will not end, nor will my love for Jordan and Ashley. 

I have established a scholarship fund in Jordan and Ashley’s name through the Youth Assistance of Royal Oak.  With the funds raised though the First Annual Pub Crawl fundraiser, we have been able to give back to the community my children were much a part of. The youth assistance program helps families who are in a financial hardship. The committee and I have designated funds to send Royal Oak sixth graders to Camp Copneconic, as well as provided funds for eighth graders to attend their annual class trip to Washington, D.C. We also purchased commemorative yearbooks for qualifying students at Royal Oak Middle School and as well as at the high school.  Through ROYA, I have also established the Jordan and Ashley Siegel Scholarship Award that is given to two high school seniors. There are also two additional scholarships given out by ROYA that have been set up to become available to two high school seniors at Novi High School for the class of 2013. The providing assistance was established because of how important and how much my children enjoyed those activities. 

Jordan introduced us to Camp Copneconic through his sixth grade middle school class trip. His excitement drew Ashley and me to attend the mother-daughter equestrian weekend, then the three of us attended the family weekend. By the time Ashley went to the camp, she was fearless of the zip-line. 

From the love Jordan and Ashley had at camp, I hung a memorial wind chime and inspirational plaque in honor of them. Through sharing passionate camp stories with the director, it has bonded us to continue a partnership which has led me to being involved in the camp's fundraisers. I have also been invited to sit on the committee, that is passionate about the camp's mission, and continue to mentor their counselors with stories. 

A big part of Jordan and Ashley’s growing-up was being involved with the Royal Oak Chargers Youth Football and Cheer teams. I was a part of the booster/unit parent-involvement program with helping organizing and volunteering. For eight years, we spent four nights a week as well as every Saturday during football season, together with this community  We watched each other’s kids grow up, becoming best friends and some even like family. Through the devastation of the accident, the Chargers immediately began coming up with ideas to give back as well. They began raising money by selling remembrance bracelets and donated a memorial bench to be displayed at the middle school as well as renaming the scholarship plaque donated by the Royal Oak Elks Lodge. Most importantly, they showed support to the players, the middle school and to me, to help in grieving and healing together, as a community. 

With my friends and community surrounding me with comfort and eagerness to help, things started to fall into place. My new mission in life is trying to live day-to-day without my children by giving back to the community which played such an important and influential role in their lives. Each event is a joyful one but at the same time, a painful reminder. I have a lot more mothering to do and providing for children through their scholarship fund allows me to honor Jordan and Ashley’s fun-loving spirit to help heal the community and myself. As a parent, my love and dedication to Jordan and Ashley will never end.


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