Spaghetti Dinner Helps Raise Money for Children Who Lost Both Parents

People who knew Trenton resident Jill Warnecke Neubert–and people who knew people who knew her–together to celebrate her life, remember her death and help provide a future for her three children.

And in the process, relatives of Neubert–who died January 6 of skin cancer–raised awareness about the importance of protecting your skin.

A Feb. 26 spaghetti dinner raised funds at TV’s Grand Event (formerly the Trenton Grand Hotel Grille) at 2651 West Jefferson. The night included entertainment, a live band and a disc jockey, karaoke, 50/50 drawings, silent auctions, gift baskets and a cash bar.

Along the way, $16,000 was raised for Neubert’s three children.

“It was an amazing night,” said Julie Davis of Grosse Ile, one of Neubert’s sisters and an organizer of the celebration. “I want to thank each and every person who attended, donated and made it a night to remember.”

“The support from the community was amazing,” added Janice McSweeney, another sister, who lives in Trenton. “In the tough economic times we are facing, we still felt the love. We received donations from businesses that were extremely generous.”

Attendees remembered Neubert, whose daughters Kayla and Kelly and son Kyle were present for the celebration.

“It was overwhelming to see the level of donations and participation at the fundraiser–to see so many people come together to support a family,” said Terey DeLisle, a Trenton native who drove in for the event from Newport.

“It went very well, especially considering the short time for organizing the fundraiser,” added Paul Faiman of Trenton. “There were the right amount of people there–enough to raise the much-needed funds … And everyone had a great time.”

Davis talked about her sister’s life. After losing her job as a medical assistant at a doctor’s office, Neubert enrolled in college and was studying to be a nurse. For two years, she dated Kevin Litton of Southgate.

On December 6, Neubert’s life took a sudden turn. She was diagnosed with melanoma, a form of skin cancer that arises from cells that produce pigment.

The cancer spread to her lungs and liver. A month to the date after her diagnosis–after suffering excruciating pain, undergoing grueling treatment and making numerous visits to the emergency room, Neubert died while surrounded by her family. She was 45 years old.

“Melanoma took over her bones to the point where she couldn’t open her mouth on the last day of her life,” Davis said.

“She died with her family there. At her last breath, she was still in pain. She could never get ahead of the pain. She wanted to make peace with people. It was so sad.”

Davis said her sister didn’t know she only had 30 days to live, but when it became clear she was going to die, Neubert planned her funeral, finalized the arrangements for her children, became closer with her sometimes-distant sister and passed on her dying wishes.

Neubert and Litton became engaged in the hospital and hoped to be married around the Fourth of July, Davis said.

Staying alive through the Christmas holiday was an achievement. Neubert shopped over the Internet and purchased presents for her children. Kayla, age 20, Kelly, 17, and Kyle 10, opened the gifts in the hospital, Davis said.

Neubert was the sole supporter of the children, whose father Edward Neubert died of a heart attack at Thanksgiving time four years earlier. Edward, who was 48 when he passed away, was one of the original employees at the Auto Alliance in Flat Rock.

The children, now without parents, are living with McSweeney and her husband John.

Davis said her sister had a small $25,000 life insurance policy and no health insurance. The funeral expenses left little for Neubert’s children, so relatives decided to hold fundraisers to help support them.

“My nieces and nephew are now technically orphans without an inheritance,” Davis said. “How many people do you know that have lost both their mom and dad before they turn 21? They lost their dad on Thanksgiving four years ago and their mother at Christmas time this year. They all deserve the chance to go to college or just take a vacation together to mourn.”

Davis said the focus on the prevention of skin cancer is something that must come from her sister’s death.

“I really do believe we need to have more attention drawn to skin cancer,” Davis said. “I used to tan on a tanning bed and I’m a redhead. I lived in Hawaii for five years and would lay out in the sun on weekends for five or six hours. If anyone should have had skin cancer, it should have been me.”

Davis said she now puts lotion on her skin every day. She has studied the effects of melanoma and tells everyone she can about the need for protection.

Davis feels like she wasted time being on the outs with her sister. She said she’s grateful they patched up their differences during Neubert’s final days.

“I’m definitely changing my life for the better,” Davis said. “I want those kids to know I’m there for them. I’m going to say ‘sorry’ even when I’m not and I’m going to forgive sooner. I’m not going to judge. Now I love people for who they are instead of trying to convert them to who I think they should be.”

Those unable to attend the celebration can send donations to the Jill L. Neubert Irrevocable Trust at any branch of Chase Bank or mail them in care of Julie Davis, 21264 Meridian, Grosse Ile, MI 48138. (Checks should be made payable to the Jill L. Neubert Irrevocable Trust.)