MOM-ents: Where's daddy?

A loyal reader, “Mark” (his real name) asked me why I am never showing the “other side” of my relationship, namely, why it seems like my husband is never brought up (or down) in my columns.  The truth is this:  I am jealous of him.  Here are some reasons why:

1.     Matt takes a shower whenever he wants.  In fact, we can be sitting on the couch, doing nothing in particular, and he will decide that it is time for him to shower.  He will get up, go upstairs, and come downstairs when he is done.  I, on the other hand, have to plan “kid-free” showers days in advance.  I am responsible for keeping the hygiene schedule of three people, including when teeth are brushed, nails are clipped, hair is washed, butts are wiped, etc.  It’s exhausting.

2.     If Matt can’t find something of his, he can just ask me where it is and I can give him point by point directions as to where in the house whatever he left around can be located, and then when he still can’t find it despite my detailed description, I get the item for him.  “Oh, you want to know where the Tigers tickets are that you left lying on the counter for a week (two weeks)?  I put them in an envelope labeled “TIGERS” and clipped them with a blue magnetic clip to the right side of the fridge up at the top” (Yes, I still need to get them for him)

3.     More often than not, Matt gets to be the “fun” parent.  The parent that doesn’t worry about if the kids are getting their proper nutrition or the right amount of sleep or the right amount of tummy time or too much use out of their pacifier or too much television or not enough fresh air.  He makes sure that he is always available for tickles and cuddles and responds to their demands in a timely manner and every time I leave the kids alone with him, they always still are alive and happy when I get home, and, of course, so is he.

The real reason Matt is merely a supporting character in my column is that I really don’t have too many complaints about him, and the things that I would complain about would seem petty to those whose husbands have real problems (because, of course, us moms are perfect).  When I met Matt he was nearly fully trained (thank you, ex-girlfriends) and there are few things that I would change about him, besides the fact that he is a Michigan State fan and that my daughter learned every curse word (three so far) she knows from him.  But maybe my readers know something I don’t.  Feel free to comment below.