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MOM-ents: The Family Bed

Meghan discusses the best and worst things about co-sleeping.

First of all, I am against parenting extremists in any situation.  Whether you are pro-breast, pro-organic food, anti-co-sleeping, or anti-walker I don’t care.  What you do with your child is your opinion and you will not change my opinion or make me feel bad about it.  With that being said…

Our kids sleep in bed with us.  Not just when they are scared, not just when they are sick.  Every. Night. 

I remember a friend’s childless girlfriend finding this out one time and she was absolutely disgusted.   “I would NEVER let my kid in my bed.” I wanted to tell her that she would more than likely never find someone to have kids with.  Instead I just smiled and nodded.  (They are no longer together.  SHOCK ME.)

It started because I was nursing, and I loved my sleep.  When I discovered I could “get up” in the middle of the night without actually waking up to feed them I was hooked.  I joked, “I don’t know if the baby is sleeping through the night, but I know I am!”

We did have about a six month window for each kid when they slept fine in their cribs and then some defining moment that put them in bed with us.  For Ryann it was when she was able to climb out of her crib.  For Matthew it was a “recent” (December) cold that left him so congested I put him in bed with us so he could be propped up on a pillow to drain while he slept. 

I am jealous of parents that can’t wait until eight o’clock (seven for some, if you can believe it) so they can put the kids down.  In their own rooms.  For twelve hours.  Our kids stay up with us until we go to sleep.  Sometimes that is pretty late, but they will make up for it by sleeping in, taking a long nap, or both (bonus day!).

I hate that sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night because I get head-butted or kicked in the face.  I love that sometimes I wake up with a chubby little arm around my neck.

I hate that Matthew will wake me up in the middle of the night crying.  I love that he will go right back to sleep as soon as I take his hand or put mine on his chest.

I hate trying to settle both kids down to sleep at the same time when all they want to do is kick each other.  I love waking up before them in the morning and seeing them cuddling each other.

I hate that sometimes I spring awake because Ryann is having a nightmare.  I love hearing her daddy comforting her. 

I hate that Ryann refers to it as “our bed.”  I secretly love when Ryann calls it “our bed.”

I hate that I don’t get to cuddle my hubby as much as I would like to.  I love that I feel closer to him than ever with 60+ pounds of baby between us.

Heather Lear February 13, 2012 at 02:22 PM
You didn't have to tell me that there have been less mom-ents, because I noticed. I love Meghan's articles and look foreward to them. In my opinion you should have as may mom-ents as she has time to submit
Carrie A February 13, 2012 at 02:37 PM
^^^^^^ agree!!
michelle February 13, 2012 at 03:03 PM
Every family and every child are unique including their needs. What fun would it be if we were all the same, needing the exact same things? I think we are the only country where people really care that much about everyone' else's business. If that works for you and your family great! I loved when my son had "sleepovers". We would stay up on a weekend watching TV and he would crash in my room. Now that he is 12 that doesn't happen anymore. I told him sometimes I miss the "little" him. He asked why. I said while I love thathim and I can have more "grown up" conversations now and that it has been fun to watch him grow each year, that I sometimes miss the hugs and kisses and the cuteness of the little guy. We talked about how time just flies by. So you know what...take advantage of every minute and do what you can to grow a deep bond with your children and family. It will be what holds them to you as they get older and more distant. I love that my son still talks to me (most of the time). He tells me a lot, does well in school and is popular too. I'm very lucky and I think that is because I didn't worry about other people's opinions on anything. I just did what I felt was right for my family.
Tracy Loger February 13, 2012 at 07:20 PM
I have noticed it hasnt been on here as much also! I love reading her articles. Even though I may not agree 100% of the time, I love hearing a different perspective on things. Meghan said it right when every parent knows what is best and what works best for their own families, and nobody should be judged for that. Sometimes, things I read in her articles change the way I feel about certain "issues" with parenting our kids. Sometimes, I still disagree because it wouldnt work for our family!!!! Hope she keeps writing, because us moms need to know we all feel frustration, joy, overwhelmed, and to be reminded to stop and chrish the special moments, big or little!
Allison Skira February 13, 2012 at 08:44 PM
I may be partial because it is my sisters article but I looked forward to reading them ( what used to be) every Monday. I'm currently 7 months pregnant with my first child and loved reading her take on parenting issues. I've read about 12 parenting/ pregnancy books so far in preparation for our son but none have her sense of humor and wit. I especially like reading the comments from other moms and it's nice to read people vent as well. I hope she will find time to continue writing the article and if need be, I'll babysit! ;)
Meghan Everly February 13, 2012 at 10:10 PM
Awww....
Peggy jernigan February 14, 2012 at 03:09 AM
Possibly the Patch doesnt track the correct number of people reading Mom-ments because most of them read it through facebook. A number of my friends have asked why she hasnt been writing as much. Take the number of people on facebook that are related to Meghan added to the number of friends they each have and you'll see that there are enough following mom-ments to have her own website/blog.
Julie Bowman February 14, 2012 at 10:58 PM
I love this.
Lindsey Hale February 16, 2012 at 05:28 PM
Ive missed Mom-ents too! I looked forward to new ones! As for cosleeping...I've definitley learned every child is different. Our 3 year old sleeps in our bed...she wanted no part of the basinett or crib EVER! So it got to the point it was best for all of us and we all got long great nights of sleep! So far our almost 3 month old will sleep through the night in her bassinett. She may be our crib sleeper. I think whatever works for you and your family is best as long as its being done safely. I love waking up to a cuddly little girl and she likes to rub my arm when she falls asleep. She wont want to sleep there forever so Im enjoying it now <3

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