Dear Fellow Holiday Shoppers:
Chances are, if your holiday shopping is not done and you don’t complete it online, you will have to step foot into an actual store.
Odds are, you and quadruple the amount of people that are normally in the store will have the same idea and be there at the same time.
Please expect that “running in for one thing” is not going to happen in a timely fashion.
Please don’t make me wait for ten minutes behind you as you wait for the parking spot where the little old lady is loading 1000 bags into her trunk one at a time. Take the spot that is open halfway down. A little exercise won’t kill you.
When walking into the store the bell-ringers are not going to judge you if you don’t put money in the bucket every time. Ignoring them does not make them not exist. It is okay to make eye contact and smile. (This does not count for the people who straighten your hair or buff your nails in the mall. If you make eye contact, you are theirs. I have the lifetime supply of “Dead Sea Salt Scrub” to prove it.)
Be polite when talking to store employees. I guarantee they are not getting paid enough to listen to you. And guess what? They are there to do a job. They are not in charge of ordering the Lalaloopsy Treehouse, nor is it their fault that said treehouse is sold out. If you don’t want to take the replacement item, GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Please plan on waiting for a while at the checkout line. If another lane opens, please don’t race over like a crazed lunatic to save yourself five minutes. You look like an idiot. In addition, if you haven’t used the “self” checkout lane before, now is not the time to teach yourself how.
When paying by check, please try to have your check filled in as completely as possible while the clerk is ringing your items. Don’t wait for the total before searching for your checkbook and pen.
When leaving the store, please put your cart away. Not, like, away from your car and in between two other people’s cars or in front of your car in the parking spot or up on the grass somewhere. Use the cart corrals. It IS someone’s job to retrieve the cart from the parking lot. It is NOT their job to make sure my car doesn’t get dented by some runaway cart that someone didn’t have the time/energy/class to put away in the right location. I put my cart away every time. Sometimes that means I am carrying two kids back to my car halfway across a parking lot. What’s your excuse?
While out navigating through the holiday madness-take a deep breath and remember how rewarding it is to watch people you love open the things that you braved all the craziness for. And promise yourself that you will start shopping earlier next year.