OK Here is my 1 line joke !

BARACK OBAMA !

A mushroom walks into the bar and says to the bartender "Hey , could I get a drink please?"
The bartender looks at him shaking his head and says "No, we don't serve food here."
The mushroom says "Why not I'm a Fungi!?!"

Fungi? Fun-guy? Yeah... I know it's bad! lol

Duct tape is like the force ( starwars) it has a light side, a dark side andd it holds the world together
Ashley bradybaugh haha

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish.

What do you call a fish with you no eyes?
Fsh

why does an anteater never get sick?

because it is full of anty bodies [antibodies]

When life hands you lemons, add Vodka and have a party

These are great! I have lol-ed like ten times already. Keep the jokes coming! Here's another bad joke to help inspire you to enter the contest:

When Chuck Norris does a push-up he isn't lifting himself up...he's pushing the Earth down.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was dead.

And the Chuck Norris thing isn't a joke, it is fact.

What did one magnet say to the other?
I find you very attractive.

My grandma lived to be 103, but had the body of a 82 year old!

Compliments of my friend j.b.

My grandma also lived to be 103, but luckily they were able to save the baby

I thought I wanted a career, turns out, I only wanted paychecks

Why do cows where bells?
Because their horns don't work!

This joke will forever be a favorite in my family because my little brother used to walk around repeating it over and over and over again when he was little because he found it to be absolutely hilarious!

Women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

A blond heard that taking a milk bath was good for her skin. She ordered 72 gallons of milk from her milk man. Confused with the order, the milk man asked, "Did you want 7.2 gallons or 72 gallons?" The blond replied, "72 gallons. I'm filling my bathtub with it to take a milk bath." The milk man asked, "Would you like it pasturized?"... "No," replied the blond. "Up to my chest would be fine."

And my kids' favorite jokes...

What did the alien say to the garden?..... Take me to your weeder!

What dous a 90 year old pussy smell like?
Depends,

How do u f**k a fat woman?
put flower on her and f**k the wet spots

How do u f**k a fatty flip throw the flods thill u smell poo then go back one

How do u brake a blonde nose?put a dideo under a glass table

Y is the string at the end of a tampons
so he can floss win he's done

What's sick a bag of dead babies or a live one eating its way out

How do blonds turn on the light in the am
Open the car door

Men are Like:
High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.

"Nurse, how is that little girl who swallowed those 10 quarters last night?" "No change yet," Heard this one at work.

How do you have a space party? You planet

A blackjack dealer and a player are arguing about whether players should tip their dealers.

The player, who’s holding a 10 and a 3, says, “When I get bad cards, it’s not the dealer’s fault. And when I get good cards, the dealer has nothing to do with it so, why should I tip?”

The dealer says, “When you eat out do you tip the waiter?”

“Of course.”

“Well, he serves you food, I serve you cards, so you should tip me.”

“Okay,” the player replies, end game in sight. “But the waiter brings me whatever I order. So I’ll take an eight.”

We are loving the jokes. You are a funny bunch. Please remember to follow the guidelines discussed in the terms of use http://trenton.patch.com/terms. Make sure your joke counts!

Q: What did one toilet say to the other?
A: You look a bit flushed

Q: We're you long in the hospital?
A: No, I was the same size I am now!

Knock Knock,
Who's there?
Dwayne
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the tub I'm drowning!!

Q: What superhero uses public transportation?
A: Bus lightyear!

What did the necktie say to the hat?
"You go on ahead... I'll just hang around."
(Told to me by one of my second grade students)

My father's favorite piece of advice, "don't get smart, the change would kill ya'", and as you can see, I'm still here.Enough said.

A day without sunshine is like night.

How can you tell a Female Chocolate Bunny from a Male Chocolate Bunny?
If it has a hollow head it is definetly a Male.